You want me to forget we ever met. But I haven’t yet. You walk by and I Fall to Pieces. 

Sad but true. True love can only come in dreams.

Today I started feeling bad. But I turned it around. I didn’t used to be able to do that. I pinpointed why I was sad then thought, which thought makes me feel better? My shoulder hurts.

But I wanted to feel good so I started thinking. Why can’t I feel good? I just swam for 1/2 hr. I just jogged for 1/2 hour. I was sitting in a hot tub w/coeds from the college water polo team. Now why am i sad? And I found I was no longer in that hot tub but I was in a happy place, and when I realized I was happy, I felt more at ease. 

And I was happy. And I was sitting in a hot tub w/coeds from the college water polo team.

Dark. Raining. Rode my bike from work to downtown and got on the bus. Got off the bus at the U of O and rode to Hayward Field. Ran for 1/2 hour or so in the rain then rode back to Franklin Bv., took the bus to Sacred Heart and then rode home. Changed out of wet clothes, ate, drinking beer. Ready for bed.

StonESouR “Hesitate” - Official Video

 You were my fire, so I burned… til’ there was nothing left of me

I… I touched your face, I held you close… til’ I could barely breathe
Why give me hope, then give me up… just to be the death of me
Save the rest of me…

Cuz I see you, but I can’t feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can’t need you anymore - you hesitate

Now… now and then, you come around, like there’s something left for me
We were one… we were everything
I’m still here… but I’ll just keep the rest for me

Cuz I see you, but I can’t feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can’t need you anymore - you hesitate

We never made it… you hesitated… I don’t believe

That I see you, but I can’t feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can’t need you anymore - you hesitate
Cuz I see you, but I can’t feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can’t need you anymore - you hesitate - hesitate

You were my fire, so I burned… now there’s nothing left of me…

My new glasses making quite a spectacle of themselves!

“I’m feelin’ bluuuuuue…”

All for love we become larger than life!

Yeah, I’m that guy

Sarah McLachlan - Possession

Listen as the wind blows
From across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning
Memories trapped in time
The night is my companion
And solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here
And not be satisfied

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear

Through this world I’ve stumbled
So many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word
To find the truth enslaved
Oh you speak to me in riddles and
You speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
You words keep me alive

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear

Into this night I wander
It’s morning that I dread
Another day of knowing of
The path I fear to tread
Oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
Nothing stands between us here
And I won’t be denied

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear

who can i post this video to? my future woman, girl…this is to you, out there, somewhere, who I will very soon meet and we make all our dreams come true…

Sarah McLachlan - Push

Every time I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
You’ve seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You’re the one true thing I know I can believe in
You’re all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You’re the one true thing I know I can believe

I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do ‘cause you’re to good to fight about it
Even when I have to push just to see how far you’ll go
You wont stoop down to battle but you never turn to go

You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You’re the one true thing I know I can believe in
You’re all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You’re the one true thing I know I can believe

Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down 
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I’d drown
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I’m OK
Sometimes thats just what we need to get us through the day

we went way too far. we never should have gone there. it was wrong and someone should have stopped it. but no one did.

we should have stopped short way before we did. now i keep slipping and falling, trying to get back to where there’s firm footing. where i used to be “okay”. but i keep getting tripped up by the feelings, the visions of you…the memories.

Girls like shoes. Guess what? Guys like shoes too! Like THESE!!! *drool*

“Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)”

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I’m here to stay
Love can be so boring 

Nothing’s quite the same now
I just say your name now 

[Chorus]
But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You’re just the best I ever had 

So you stole my world
Now I’m just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely 

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better 

[Chorus]
But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t need me back
You’re just the best I ever had 

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can’t take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You’re always right 

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I’m here to stay
Love can be so boring 

What was it you wanted
Could it be I’m haunted 

[Chorus]
But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
I don’t want you back
You’re just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever 

i had you for but a brief moment in time. for an instant, it seems. i knew you were too good for me. too good to be true. i told you i had a tiger by the tail. i knew it was going to be trouble, but i held on for dear life. each weekend was horrible when you wouldn’t contact me, and i wanted to end my misery. but i couldn’t. you had me by your claws, and i couldn’t let you go so i tried harder and hard. of course, that just pushed you away. and finally you, were, gone. but you’re still around. that makes it even worse. my stupid, stubborn heart thinks it can somehow win you back. my heart is strong. if i want, i could really try. it’s not impossible. but should i try? prolong the agony. go through this hell again. or will it be heaven? 

but no, i say no! oh i don’t know.